Who is Mary-Alice?
Mary-Alice has been fostering for over 20 years. She spoke to us about her experience of fostering in Rotherham and why she recommends fostering teenagers.
Why I started fostering
Mary-Alice started fostering when her birth children were young. Initially she fostered babies who were experiencing Neonatal Abstinence syndrome (NAS). This is when a baby experiences symptoms as a result of their mother using certain drugs during pregnancy.
At the time, this age of children worked well for Mary-Alice and her family. As Mary-Alice’s birth children have grown, the ages of the children she fosters has also increased: “as my children got older, so did the children in my care.”
Eventually as Mary-Alice’s birth children became teenagers, Mary-Alice started fostering teenagers. Mary-Alice enjoys fostering teenagers so much that she has continued to foster young people now that her birth children have grown up.
Dispelling the myths
There are a number of myths surrounding why teenagers go into foster care. One of those myths is that teens go into foster care because of something they have done. However, it is normally the actions of the parents that lead to a child needing to be cared for. Reasons can include a death in the family, parent mental illness, drug addiction, neglect or an unsafe home environment.
Mary-Alice told us that “people think that teenagers will be trouble, they will be drug abusers or keep absconding, people expect more problems with teenagers”. However, this hasn’t been the case for Mary-Alice.
Mary-Alice has built up some great relationships with the teenagers that she has fostered and finds it incredibly rewarding to see their progress: “If they have the support, they will find a way in life.”
Mary-Alice is still in touch with most of the teenagers and children that she cares for, including two boys who were adopted by a family in America.
What do you wish you had known before you started fostering teenagers?
Mary-Alice told us that before she started fostering teenagers she didn’t realise how much support there was. Mary-Alice has found the Fostering Rotherham team to be incredibly supportive and the training courses for fostering teenagers really useful.
At Fostering Rotherham we run a number of training courses that are specifically designed for foster carers of older children and teens. Read more about our training here.
What advice would you give to someone considering fostering teenagers?
Mary-Alice’s advice to anyone thinking about fostering teenagers is: “give it a go, form your own judgement, go with the flow. Kids are kids, they just need love and respect.”
“Caring for teenagers is about communicating to the teen that they are safe, it is about respectful relationships, telling them straight away about the house rules but not being regimented about them.”